Right, time for myself.
Time to refresh.
Like that's always possible!
Especially with toddlers running, or babies getting up all night... who can carve out time to glamorously fill ourselves? When we look in the Word, I think the "filling" we need is a deeper one than a manicure or girls night out or time away. It's a daily thing, and even a moment by moment thing, that if we're honest, we often neglect. This type of filling isn't just a checklist item so we can better care for our families- it's a soul level Jesus filling that we can only get by walking through the trenches and mountain tops of life with Him. It isn't something we are capable of doing for ourselves, we can't fill us up in the way we need apart from Him. So what does it look like to be filled when we are walking in an already overflowing FULL and BUSY life? A life where we are needed from sun up to sun down and then all night long too. A life when early risers beat us out of bed, coughs beckon, messes call, laundry breeds on it's own, meals, dishes, teaching, disciplining, appointments, brushing teeth, scrubbing toilets, meetings, library visits and spending time with our children both demands us and is also a great joy in our lives. Where can we fit in this "filling" and most importantly, what does it even look like?
Early in my mothering years I had this image of what this would look like? Quiet mornings in a peaceful clean house, sitting in my rocking chair with my morning coffee and Bible before the rest of the house was awake. I've found that this isn't usually possible in the real-life version we actually live out! For one thing, in all honesty, the clean house image is typically not reality. lol! I find it hilarious how having children changes our views and expectations on what this gig will actually look like.
But that filling takes place in the intentional... the asking our Savior to be part of our day in and day out chaos and joys. It's remembering to ask Him into the real-life, and to allow Him to be our strength, our comfort, our reason. Not something we do once in the morning and then forget about Him for the next 23.75 hours. Or something we think we can be filled with on Sunday mornings and then stay filled for the whole week! It's a Bible verse first thing in the morning, it's being snuggled with by still waking up boys and managing to read the Word. It's putting on praise music and getting chores done. It's in the determined and purposeful way we can bring eternal thoughts into the daily challenges. It's bringing Him into the conversations with our little ones and our friends. It's thanking Him for all the blessings that surround us. The verse of truth we cling to when it's all overwhelming us. It's letting HIM FILL US- so we can walk in obedience to what He has given us for that day.
It's abandoning myself, and being FULLY AND MORE FOUND THAN I COULD EVER HAVE THOUGHT POSSIBLE IN HIM!!
and it's glorious.
I love the way Ephesians 3:19 words it-
and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God
It's a deeper filling than I could ever hope to achieve on my own, and it's lasting, meaningful, gives hope and purpose to all the cracks and crevices in the raw and real. It's the personal relationship with us that He designed us to crave, the very core of our existence is yearning for this walk with Him. A manicure, a night out, a shopping spree or "me time" are all great in their own way, but not if those are the things we are looking to to fill our cup. They are temporary and counterfeit fixes to a deeper need in our lives. We need the real deal and that can only be found in seeking Him.
Jeremiah 29:11-13
'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.'
