Friday, March 7, 2014

and then there were four. 4. FOUR. IV.

We welcomed our fourth boy into our family on a cold January day.  He is wonderful.  Seriously.  From his head full of beautiful hair down to his wrinkled little feet.  All 10.6 pounds of miracle- placed in our hands to love and raise. What an incredible honor!  

His chubby cheeks beg to be kissed.  His little snuggles to be soaked up. His adorable little cry to be soothed.  We are really enjoying having a baby at home again since it has been almost 4 years since we heard the newborn cry.  Diapers, feedings, getting up in the night... it all came rushing back.  But along with the challenging parts, the feelings of an indescribable love came rushing back too.  My heart could just burst!  

The transition to homeschooling, housekeeping, hormones & not enough sleep.  Transitions are hard. and this one wasn't perfect. We had some rough days. I had some moments where I felt totally overwhelmed...  Like at lunch when Ledger spilled his milk and I just burst out in tears.  lol.  yeah- that happened.  My boys looked wide-eyed at me like "what the heck is going on with mom?! we spill milk all the time and she doesn't cry..."  Emotional, sentimental and longing for peace we stumbled through the first few days after Josh went back to work.  But we made it!  That's the thing: transitions don't last forever and we slowly fell into a rhythm.  I made a point to ignore dishes, laundry and clutter as I focused on giving the boys the attention they needed. We watched cartoons when we needed to.  Stayed in pajamas.  Used paper plates and ate things like chicken nuggets and pizza. We colored, read books together, took naps and played a lot of video games. We had so many close friends & family drop off meals and enjoyed their visits and encouragement. I didn't pretend everything was perfect, but I also didn't let the struggles take away from all the ways we are so blessed. I cried when I needed to, slept when I could, appreciated all the ways Josh was helping & talked to my friends about the rough days.  I also laughed at myself for the unexplained tears. I took vitamins, and prayed for the emotions that were running through me... The first month was a blur and we blinked and it had already gone by. 

That's the thing with raising kids. They don't last forever either.  Our oldest is already 8 and it seems like just yesterday that it were his cries that were waking us in the night.  I don't want to experience this season feeling overwhelmed or stressed out.  I want to notice and appreciate the little moments in each day and not to let the amount of sleep I got to become the deciding factor in the quality of day that follows.  So I'm drinking coffee, soaking up the Word & making a very intentional point to make the most of it all- even the below zero ones where we are cooped up in the house together! (Oh, and I also give Ledger his milk in a cup with a lid and straw now too!)  

my hands are full but my heart is fuller


  1. You inspire me, Stef! Lately I've really been letting life stress me out, I think about what the week brings- work, school, driving, endless homework and reading to do. It's been so overwhelming, we all have our own battles to fight and it's time for me to focus on changing my attitude. You seriously rock Stef, you ARE amazing!

  2. Such wisdom my dear! I am trying very hard to also just enjoy Myles being little and not wanting my house and such to take over and stress me out. I will agree that it takes some adjustment, but it's totally worth it!